Friday, January 8, 2010

Saying Goodbye (Round 1)

After 2 flight changes, and $130 in luggage fees, I finally left Palm Beach County headed back to NYC.

There is something strange about saying goodbye, you do it, and you're sad of course, because you know it means not seeing someone, but you don't actually FEEL the sadness until much afterward. When i was saying bye yo my parents today, for example, I gave them a bug hug and knew it would be a while until I saw them next, but I wasn't sad. not yet anyway. Because we say goodbye so many times it almost desensitizes us.

I'd like to consider myself a pretty independent person, I like to feel like I am string and making it on my own. But if ever i have a serious problem or crisis or need to really talk to someone, I pick up the phone and call home. So I am almost positive that a little bit into my Vietnam adventure, i will miss my parents, and cry, and chastise myself for not spending more time with them while I was in Florida, for snapping at them for something silly. I will be angry at my lonely self for wasting time.

I guess I have to face that fact that no matter what, I will always be their little girl, and I actually like it. The more I think about it, the more I am realizing that this trip will not only open my eyes culturally, but it will also make me grow up in a way and learn to entirely fend for myself.

Am I ready for that?

picture: back shot of my parents walking, 2006

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