Sleeping late in Hanoi is not a successful endeavor. I arrived here last night around 7PM delirious from the combination of sleepaids that didn't work and being up for nearly 30 hours. I got to my apartment and hated it. Don't get me wrong, the apartment itself if pretty nice. But I was told I'd be staying in the program's dorm and I am not. They also asked ot take my passport to show the police and stuff which I outright refused. I am not letting my passprt out of my possession.
I am in a strange area 10 kilometers outside if Hanoi and quite frankly have never felt more isolated in my life.
I wanted my blogs posts to be rosy and shiny and showing everyone how great and amazing this is. But right now it's not. Right now I am still in a state of shock and wondering if I can really do this.I am slightly disgusted with myself for my lack of resolve, I thought I was stronger than this...I mean, I made the decision to move here. And I am not a quitter or a failure. The idea of turning around and heading back to the USA (which is tempting...especially when I picture a certain adorable red headed freckled angel)...makes me recoil. I have to stay. If nothing else than to prove it to myself and to prove it to all of the people who dismissed this as one of my whims.
So I have a big day today: buying bedding (because there is none) buying food (same) buying a dresser (same) buying a sim card, and going to the US Embassy.
I am going to try and learn my way around this suburb. I am going to try and get a bike but also pin my address on to me in the event I get lost.
I am going to try and learn to live without showering in hot water. But most of all, I am going to try and get grip and snap out of my pathetic whining and crying and look this adventure right in the horns and charge right back.
(Hopefully my later posts will be more uplifting)
Alice--I know the feeling exactly. You're homesick, and full of heartache. But you have incredible resolve. The first few days will be terrible--but you will get through it. I'm proud of you! xoox.
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