Those of you who know me well are well aware of "Alice-time." This is a time where, I do not want you to speak to me, look at me, or give me any kind of attention.
During Alice time, I probably have my nose in a book, or am surfing the internet, or wandering around alone outside....regardless of what I do, it's my time and I don't want you to be a part of it. How to identify Alice time is VERY easy. If my headphones are on and I am staring at my computer or sitting in my room. That's a pretty good indicator. If I am reading something, well, that's the biggest indicator of all. If disturbed during "AT" I am quite snappy and short. I take "AT" very seriously.
So one would think, oh Vietnam will be perfect for her, because she will have as much "AT" as she wants. This is true, I spent the better part of 24 hours reading my kindle (thanks Alex!) but I was quite depressed about it. The beauty of "AT" is that it is a choice, a decision I make to be alone with my thoughts. Here, it's not by choice. Here, it's because I don't know anyone else and my flat is empty (dear new roommates: please come soon and be cool! from, Alice)
So I am quite lonely sometimes. And that makes me sad. I am perfectly capable of existing on my own for a bit. I think it's important for one to be alone with themselves. I hate to be a burden and annoy people with a constant need for attention. Which is why I haven't reached out to Chip (my one friend who lives in my district of Hanoi) this weekend. The other people I am friends with here live in central Hanoi, and I am still a bit murky as to how to get around and getting back from a night out is quite a problem. So I've just stayed in. I can't make other people responsible for my happiness and entertainment. I mean I explored today for a few hours the neighborhoods around me. Central Hanoi will be another day.
I am convinced that if I lived in central Hanoi my life would be different, busy, no time to be lonely. I like cities and thrive when in them. I like being surrounded by the hustle and bustle. the sense of strength and independence living in a city provides you with. If I lived in Hanoi I would have learned it already. I would walk around for hours and explore. I would be fine. But I don't. So I am going to have to either learn Hanoi (I can start by buying a map which will do no good because I am useless at reading maps but I may as well try) or sit at home. I go for the former.
I will keep you all posted.