I remember when I got my first job, I was so excited because it was new and something I always dreamed about. After about four months, reality kicked in, and I soon realized that this big girl job of mine was actually something that I would have to continue doing. I had never thought about it in those terms. To me, having a job always represented freedom and fun not stress, misery and being trapped. The novelty had worn off and I was devising plans to strike it rich and not have to work again.
When I made my grand plans to go to Vietnam I was so excited to talk about it, think about it and romanticize it. Now I am starting to think that maybe Vietnam is what the new job was. Now that I am actually going there I am having second thoughts. I am wondering if it looked good from far away but now it’s here I don’t want it anymore.
I think the fundamental problem is that I am really scared. And I hate to admit it, but I am.
The truth is I don't know how long I can do this for. Part of me (a huge part of me) wants to turn around right now and go back.