Monday, December 21, 2009

Anticipation and Nerves

I concoct many crazy life plans, and they often change weekly. So naturally, when I first mentioned "Vietnam" to my friends, they kind of rolled their eyes and smirked at each other. I knew what they were thinking. And part of their inability to take me seriously is what drive me to cement my Vietnam plans into place. I knew the more I spoke about it, and the more I planned it, that I would have to go through with it. And as it draws near, I must say I am THRILLED that I am heading over there.

Thrilled and nervous. I can't believe it's all happening so quickly. And I live in this irrational fear that when I leave NYC that all of my friends will move on, become even closer and that when I return there will be no room left for me. I worry that my perfect boyfriend will realize that his life without me is in fact, much better, and he wants to find someone who is less of a handful.

I expressed these fears to my psychologist-turned-real estate developer mother who provided some insight that, for once, wasn't infuriating. She told me that being sad to leave somewhere/thing, means that you have done it successfully. That if I had lived a boring and miserable life in NYC, then I wouldn't be sad to leave, and that would be the saddest thing of all. So she made sense, and I feel better I guess.

I just have so much to do and prepare before I leave, and I simply can't get going on it. For one, I need to complete my teaching English as a foreign lanaguage class pronto. I am laying stagnant at lesson 3, and I need to get up to 20. Motivate me, please!!!!!

I'm out for now.


Sunday, December 13, 2009

The Big Move

When I got laid off in May, I bypassed the feelings of panic and despair. Getting laid off gave me the kick I needed to rethink my life. I had long felt that my passions lay elsewhere and that I had merely been going through the motions at my job.

I was convinced that if I kept going down this path, that I would look back in 20 or 30 years and regret not having done more, not having explored, and not finding what it was that made me want to wake up each morning.

What is it that I want to do? I still have no clue. But to help find out, I decided to do something HUGE...

On January 13th, I am getting on a plane and flying across the world to Hanoi, Vietnam. I will be living there for six months and teaching English at a school. I also hope to travel. Can I speak Vietnamese? No. Have I ever taught before? No. But I HAVE been to Vietnam and loved it. And I know that this adventure will be great and will shape the rest of my life!