Friday, March 26, 2010

Phnom Penh

The first day of my first solo travel adventure is coming to a close. I must tell you that i was (and still kind of am) freaking out about the fact that I am traveling by myself in Cambodia. It doesn't help that some of you filled my head with severe warnings of the dangers of this country.

So far, I've been ok. I am being smart and keeping my wits about me. I hope this trip goes smoothly. It's a huge step for me and one I think that will ultimately be life changing.

I've dreamed of going to Cambodia for a while now...I was hoping to go over Tet but it wasn't possible, and while I had a lovely time in Laos, I was pining a bit for the idea of Cambodia. So when these ten days of no work came up, I decided to seize the opportunity. i could either be scared of traveling alone and not go, or be a big girl, face fear, be smart and do something I've always wanted.

I arrived in phnom penh this morning. Got a Cambodia sim card, hopped in a tuk tuk and got to my hotel. Immediately made my trip to Siem Reap for the next day (Angkor Wat is #1 on my list of places I want to go) and then made my plan for the day here.
Thanks to some very helpful friends (especially Edward who not only told me places to go but also everywhere I should stay and made my life really easy) I had an idea of what I wanted to do today.

It was rainy and bleary which kind of matched the destinations I was heading to...the killing fields and the genocide museum. Anyone who goes to Cambodia should visit these sights, horrific as they are, because they are such an important part of world history that i believe sometimes gets forgotten.

The images were graphic, disturbing, and sobering. I was, at certain points, overcome with emotion. Especially looking at pictures of the prisoners (some young children) and seeing it in their eyes...wondering "why me? what did I do to deserve this?" Those images are haunting.

I can't help but be so disgusted how people treat each other. How one could inflict that kind of torture on another human being so effortlessly. And this was RECENT, in the 70s. How can it happen? Why does it happen? I don't know but it upsets me on a level I can not describe.

Ok, enough of that heavy stuff.

Let me share my fun little tips about Cambodia:

1. The tuk tuk drivers are very eager to help. they will accost you in the street and offer to drive you somewhere. If you are awkward, like me, you might yes them to death telling them that you'll go to them when you need a ride. Do NOT do this. They will remember you. Ask you why you joined another tour and then proceed to shout yuor name at you every time they see you (in a nice friendly way but still "Alec! Alec!" as I head down the street....)
2. I heard that if traveling as a single woman, it's a good idea to wear a wedding band to deter any incidents. Well, it hasn't done anything with the locals. I am scaring off other backpackers though which is kind of the opposite of what I want to do. I want to make friends! Hopefully on the bus tomorrow I can, and at Siem Reap I'll be able to. If for nothing else than to have someone take pictures of me at the sights hehe.

Heading in for an early night now. Love to you all and maybe I'll blog from Siem Reap but maybe not.

xoxo AC

Thursday, March 25, 2010


I am leaving for Cambodia tomorrow...I am traveling alone so I am a bit worried. I'll be back April 5th....

Wish me luck and keep me in your thoughts. xo

Monday, March 22, 2010

I'm Sitting on a Rainbow promised the BIG NEWS I have been holding out on announcing...

I just landed a dream job, I got room in an amazing house right in the center of town and I will be extending my Asian stint by an additional year.

An addition to this exciting news I am 98% sure that I am taking a little vacation aka an extended "visa run" to Cambodia for a week. I'd like to hit up Angkor Wat, Phnom Pehn, and perhaps a beach.

I will elaborate more later but I just wanted to share with you all.

*thanks to my parents, Alex, and my friends for the unwavering love and support

xo AC

PS-my highlights are nice!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

This Free Fall...Has Got Me So...

I haven't been great about blogging lately. it's not that I have nothing to say, in fact, QUITE the opposite...I am bursting with news. Unfortunately, I can not officially say anything until Monday. Some of you know what it is, but until everything is finalized I don't want to put things out on the internet. You never know whose stalking me :) :) :) However, let's just say I am a happy duck.

I'm exhausted! So much is going on, but things are going well, I have a life and it's starting to be a pretty darn awesome one.

I can't WAIT to blog on Monday!!!!

In the mean time, I am getting my hair HIGHLIGHTED tomorrow. FINGERS CROSSED that it looks good and that I don't live to regret this decision. :)

xoxo AC

PS-The Maybelline mineral powder shade I want is actually "Sandy Beige" just in case you were sending it.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Confessions of a Shopaholic

I have a spending problem. I have a compulsion to buy. It doesn't matter where I am...I could be at a hardware store and still be able to fill up a basket full of useless unnecessary items.

I should've known that last nights post would spark trouble. I couldn't leave well enough alone. After school today, I headed over to "The Garden" which is an upscale mall near my home that contains a Big C (think: upscale Walmart) along with lots of fancy boutiques. The GOOD NEWS is that i got my Revlon lipstick and my Maybelline bare minerals loose powder. I also snagged a pair of skinny jeans (still want another pair though!) The skinny jeans I couldn't say no to...the brand was ALICE. I told myself, if that's not a sign, then what is?!

The bad news is that i kept going...spending money like I'm actually making it (I'm not, not really anyway) I bought two pretty but relatively expensive dresses (by Vietnamese standards), so expensive, in fact, that they THREW IN A FREE DRESS "as a gift" with my purchase. What a great gift! usually I just get a measley packet of moisturizer or shampoo. This gift basically insured that I will be back and that they can drain more money from my already dwindling bank account.

Inner monologue: Damn it, Alice, you came to Asia to TRAVEL not to SHOP. And if you MUST shop don't do it at a MALL you IDIOT

I must say I am pretty stoked about my purchases though. NOT stoked about how fat I am getting.I say this every day but I will keep saying it I feel pretty and skinny again. I guess working out might be in order.

until then...go through my list and feel free to send me the items I wasn't able to score here tonight :)

Something's Missing

A lot of you send me emails asking me what I miss the most about home. What you can send me to make my life in Asia more enjoyable. I have pooh-poohed these requests for the past two months but I have decided to make a list. If you feel so inclined as to fulfill anything on this list then I will love you more than I already do. Double check with me on the address. xo

1. NARS bronzer in the shade of "Laguna"
2. Crest White Strips
3. Maybelline Mineral Power Finishing Veil Translucent Loose Powder in the shade of Nude or Creamy Natural (2)
4. Revlon lipstick in shade #460
5. LOREAL sublime bronze self tanner (2)
6. neosporin
7. Revlon color stay eyeliner in black
8 Loreal luminous mascara in black (2)
9. OPI nail polish in dark or fun shades
10. Philosophy lip gloss in Red Velvet cake
11. Clinique: lip gloss in Juicy apple, lipstick in black honey
12.a new ipod since mine was stolen
13. a pair of skinny jeans that aren't too big on me
14 my black H&M cigarette pants
15. some of my cute going out shirts (preferably hot pink high neck sleeveless, my red rag and bone, my black rag and bone, and a few other at your discretion)
16. a couple cute dresses from my closet (I can list specifics if you actually go into my closet and plan on sending things)
17. addies
18. stationary
19. Ponds face cream-with the blue cap (2)
20. raisenettes

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Awake For Ever in a Sweet Unrest

I spent the weekend with John Keats.

Last night, I went to the little slice of heaven known as Hanoi Cinematheque and had a lovely dinner before seeing "Bright Star" a charming movie based on the romance between John Keats and his love, Fanny Brawne.

Captivated by what I saw on screen, I came home and voraciously tore through all of Keats poems and more importantly, his letters to Miss Brawne

Now, I am hugely romantic and at times, truly believe that I was born in the wrong era. I would want nothing more than to engage in passionate expressions of love through letters. I love the concept of the man wooing and courting the lady, winning her over with his solemn but steadfast declaration of love and honor. Our concept of what romance is pitiful compared to how it used to be.

Somewhere, somehow, romance died. I truly believe that it's our fault, we let it die out, out of pure laziness or the need to modernize our outlook. We have cheapened love, passion, and its true meaning. Nothing really means anything anymore. It's too easy, thing are too accessible, too easy to replace.

I am just as guilty as the rest, yet a huge part of me yearns for some kind of restoration of ways past. I would love nothing more to be seduced and courted like the ladies in the Victorian era. Write to me of your feeling for me, describe in detail what you love about me, how I've changed your world and our loves affect on your outlook of life.

It breaks my heart that it probably won't happen.

Usually when I am exposed to true romance of eras past I become unsettled and upset. I wonder why I can't have a kind of love like that and I pick a fight with Alex. I know it's ridiculous but I do it anyway, I can't help it. I ask him why he doesn't write me poetry, why he isn't romancing me to keep the love and passion alive. I tell him that he didn't do a good job of courting me when we first got together.

At this point, he tends to ignore my belligerent ramblings and after a while I calm down, realizing that he's pretty Keats like in his own way...unwavering loyalty, unconditional and all encompassing love and devotion.

Still, i wouldn't object to him taking a poetry class, or sending me a love letter or two. Just saying...

Romance me :)


I went to get my haircut on Friday. Ok, so my hair is a lot shorter than I wanted. I have been TRYING to grow out my hair for the past year or so and I am back right where I started. However, it's a good cut and I may even go back for highlights so I feel less hideous.

I've never felt more hideous and fat than since my move to Asia. Most people come here and get beautiful and skinny but not me. I go the other way. Typical.

I digress.

I must talk about the service industry in Asia. As you can probably imagine, it's exquisite.

The simplest tasks are performed with such precision and care, resulting in a winning experience.

I have other examples but the one I will discuss is getting my hair washed. I love to be pampered and being made to feel good so this was a joyous time for me.

I sat down in the hair washing chair (which by the way was actually fold out so there was no awkward neck cramp and my legs were comfortably extended) at 12:55 and it was normal at first...water, shampoo, scrubbing, rinse, conditioner, rinse....and then it changed.

The genius with his head in my hands then proceeded to give me the most amazing scalp massage that I have ever received. His expert touch brought me to a different dimension. It was like an out of body experience, my world stopped, there was nothing else in the world other than this scalp massage. It was heaven. Words don't do it justice.

I got out of the chair at 1:15...

for the record that means my scalp massage and pampering was over 15 minutes.

Now THAT'S what I call impeccable service.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I Look Up To The Sky And Now The World Is Mine

Despite coming from family of really driven people, I strive to live my life in cruise control. I'd rather enjoy the ride than get to the destination.

Most people would rather hang out with their friends than go to work or class, I'm not unique in this. However, unlike many of my peers, I blow off the former for the latter with little thought to consequence. I always have. I always think that maybe this time I can be different, maybe I've grown up and can be responsible but WHERE IS THE FUN IN THAT?!

I've always lived my life in a pursuit of a good time, having fun, and detouring from anything that could hinder this.

I am not proud of this. Or the fact that the times I am most successful professionally are either 1. I am working on something I think is fun or 2. my personal life is facing some kind of crisis and work is the only refuge available. Maybe I haven't found my true passion yet, but that's a post for another time.

Now that I have a life in Hanoi, I am having serious issues with the fact that I also have a job. It gets in the way of the things I'd rather be doing. Classes that used to be conducted bright eyed and with a PowerPoint are now seen through bleary squints and are lucky if I even know what I am supposed to be teaching. (exaggeration a bit)

I am hoping that one day I become a real adult. That when asked what do I want to do with my life, my honest answer is not, "Have fun"

Anyway, moving on....

A few shout outs and then you can all know what as been playing ON REPEAT on my itunes as of late

Danny Mezz-You are an Adonis. Gorgeous on the outside and inside. The man sends me care package emails filled with my favorite tv shows. So thoughtful and sweet. I know it takes up a lot of time and it is OH SO APPRECIATED
Trang-You left today. And I miss you already
To myself: Nice city navigating

ITUNES Playlist...these songs get played on repeat (too bad my ipod was stolen)
1. Run Run Run by Phoenix
2. You're so damn hot by Okgo
3. Break Your Heart by Taio Cruz (mainly because it's about me and my friends)
4. When I Look at You by Miley Cyrus (hate to admit this one, but it's great and it reminds me of AJ)
5. Haven't Met You yet by Michael Buble
6. Dreaming with a Broken Heart by John Mayer
7. brown sugar by the Rolling Stones

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

She's a Bad Mama Jama

Yesterday was International Womens Day. Many of you reading this blog may not know what that is and frankly I find that deplorable. No, I don't blame you, I blame western nations for not adopting this fantastic public holiday.

International Women Day is a day where women get celebrated. Unlike Valentine's Day and Mothers Day, the women who get revered are not subject to whether or not they're in a relationship or a's every woman. Flowers, chocolates, delicious food, and being told how great you are. Sign me up (you know that every day in my mind is International Alice Day anyway)

I spent this holiday in bed, sick with no voice but with a live stream to the Oscars so all was not lost.

I have to teach again today which would be great if I felt any better. I woke up today at 4:15 am and was unable to fall back to sleep so am now a combination of hoarse and cracked out. Pretty attractive.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

I'm Tired of Running...Let's Walk for a Minute

I would be the worst rock star. Stage fright aside, I simply can't party like one.

Yes, my life in NYC was hectic...I did go to lots of parties, but there were also many nights I stayed in snuggling with AJ, watching a movie and ordering pizza. I also RARELY drink when I am in NYC.

Who knew that my inner party girl would be unleashed in Hanoi? Does that even make any sense?

Thursday was a tough day: I dropped my phone in the sink, my organization screwed me over (shocker) and I was feeling the first signs of being ill. I had planned to pop a sleeping pill and sleep early but somehow I ended up going downtown to meet up with some people in town, just for a drink or two.

I stumbled back outside at 6:30am. I managed to make it home, called Alex like 65 times before finally falling asleep at 7:30am.

Staying out all night is something that I have NEVER done before and now I know why: I'm not programmed to handle it.

My extensive Friday plans (hair cut, pedicure, shopping) were obliterated as I was forced to spend all day in bed. My body revolted when I tried to do anything other than sleep. Somehow, I managed to I drag myself out of bed around 5pm and tried to get ready for another night out. I had been long awaiting Ladies Night at the Press Club and refused to miss it turns out my performance was pathetic...I sipped water and sat in a corner silently because I barely had the energy to do anything else.

My body decided that it would punish me even more so it inflicted a debilitating cold and cough on me to force me into quiet recuperation.

So that's where I am now. In bed, surrounded by tissues and sounding like a man with a sexy hacking cough.

Maybe it's time to accept that I'm more like Mandy Moore than Mick Jagger.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Why would you ever drink non alcoholic beer?

I've always been a Marmite kind of person, people either love me or hate me. My personality is pretty intense and some people just don't know how to handle it. Growing up, when I would complain that I wasn't "Peggy Popular" my mother informed me that Peggy Popular is nice, and nice is, well boring.

No one has ever accused me of being boring. Ridiculous though, I get daily.

My life, up to now, has been a stream of endless antics and I've also often found myself being the subject of speculation, rumors and attention. Yes, at times it got annoying, but I can't really complain since my life has always been exciting.

I've put up posting this blog for some time as 1. it makes me sad to write and 2. I'm in denial about it.

So I am just going to come out and say it.

I haven't been myself out here. Not really. More like heavily diluted version. Super nice and super boring. Take a nice bottle of Bordeaux, pour half out and fill the bottle back up with water (Evian, but still it's water) and that's how I've been.

Why? good question. I actually have an answer though it is pitiful. Upon arriving in Hanoi, and realizing that I was in the middle of nowhere (My Dinh) and essentially all alone and out of my element, I realized that the few people that I knew were kind of essential to my survival and that I couldn't risk unleashing "Ridic-Alice" and winding up abandoned and rejected. So I did what any painfully insecure person does...I went into survival mode, abandoning some of of off the wall characteristics and adopting some of "Peggy Popular's" personality traits, because while she might be boring, she IS popular and nice. No one can dislike to someone who is SUPER nice, right?

I was so worried about not being liked that I held back elements of my true personality, elements which I feel define who I am and make me the firecracker that you all know (and hopefully) love. Being insecure is crippling. LNot really loving myself without worrying about the consequences is perhaps that most devastating thing that I've experienced.

Obviously, when we first meet new people, we tend to be on our best behavior, not showcasing our flaws right off the bat. We are the best versions of ourselves. I don't let everyone know that I am insecure, sarcastic, disorganized, obsessive, and extremely WEIRD right when you first meet me. At least I don't think so. I usually give it a few hours before my true colors shine through. :)

My "best friend" here, is a guy named Chip. Out of everyone I've met thus far, I have spent the most time with him. We hang out, we talk, we live by each other and we traveled to Lao for ten days together, yet last night, when we were out with some other friends I became aware that the person who I have logged the most hours with, hasn't seen the Alice that everyone else knows. And I don't know why I am incapable of being "myself" around him.

I think from day one, I felt terrified that he wouldn't like me. That I had the curb some of my biting remarks and silliness in the fear that he wouldn't want to be my friend and then I would have had no friends. That I would rather hold back than be lonely.

In some ways, it's a good thing maybe? I think my friends at home are so used to me being such a commanding presence: the funny one, the entertainer. It's almost become expected and I haven't much room to be anyone else. Here, with him, I've been able to have some real, serious, and honest conversations that I wouldn't be able to have at home because people wouldn't expect that of me and maybe wouldn't take me seriously or think I was full of it. Chip has seen the other Alice, the quieter more subdued, nice and boring one. The one that many of you reading this blog didn't even know existed. (She's lame anyway you aren't missing much.)

I am sure some of you are wondering why I care, or why I am obsessing over this matter. "Why," you ask, "don't you just start now. Just start today by being yourself with your friend?"

Maybe it's because I can't exactly say, "oh by the way, I haven't really been myself since you've known me, I actually have this whole other persona that you haven't yet met...." and now since I am obsessing over it, there's a big chance that I behave like an idiot.

And the reason that i am upset? No one likes to be misrepresented. No one likes to feel that someone they know and genuinely care about has the wrong impression about them.

The good news, if there is any good news, is that I am making new friends, and for some reason I am presenting myself accurately to them. (Obviously still in the "best version" stages haha) but I don't feel like I am trying to be something or someone other than myself with them.

Maybe, hopefully, the earlier friendships and the new friendships will merge and that I can seamlessly transition watered down Alice into three shots espresso Alice weirdness and all, and that I'll be has lucky and successful with friends as I am with my friends back home.

This post is long and delirious. Hope you got the idea. I am exhausted. nap time. xo AC

PS-I promise to cut back on the feelings posts. I'll get back to blogging about funny, unique crazy things happening over here :)


#1-I am getting REALLY REALLY good at navigating around Hanoi. better and better every day. I am so impressed with myself and since no one else acknowledges it I force the compliment from them by saying things like, "How great am I for knowing where this is?" or "Can you believe that two weeks ago I had no idea where anything was?" or "I hope you're impressed...I know I am"

#2-As you might now, I am seriously regretting my decision to dye my hair hideous mud poop brown. I thought it would help me be less conspicuous in Asia than my usual golden hue. Turns out, I can't hide. I am 5'10 with blue eyes. And now I just feel drab. I know I shouldn't, I've heard countless horror stories, but I am SERIOUSLY considering getting highlights here.

#3-I think I am getting fat.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Les aventures à l'hôpital

I'm sure a few of you read my last post (well the bottom of the last post) and were SO WORRIED about the state of my leg that you haven't been able to sleep since.

That is why I came home from the hospital and immediately sat down to write this blog. :)

I went to the Hanoi French Hospital which is, le meilleur dans la ville. Obviously. Call me crazy (ha!) but I have a thing with only going to the best medical facilities. A few of my doctors don't accept insurance, but i go anyway, because they are the best. This is not only because I am a bit of a hypochondriac, but also because I think your health is something you shouldn't mess around with.

So anyway, I get the French hospital and explain my situation: I burned my leg on saturday, tried to self medicate, in a lot of pain, worried about infection. They bring me upstairs to a French doctor and at this moment I am more grateful than ever that I have a French mother and can speak the language. This is not to say that the attending nurse who spoke English and french wouldn't suffice, but there is something comforting about being able to explain things in your own words and being able to understand what the doctor is saying without the assistance of a translator.

My doctor was great. He reminded me of someone, I can't think of who but the point is that he saw me right away, treated me, consulted me, gave me medication and I was fine.

Turns out I was right, i do have a second degree burn. but it is not infected and I will live. I even get to keep my leg!

the best part of the experience was that I was in and out of the emergency room in 20 minutes. i didn't have to wait at all. How many hospitals can you say that about in the US?


Ok I am heading back to school now. I'll blog later tonight. the topic will probably be about how crazy I am. :)

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Isn't She Lovely

When it comes to a problem, I do live in my own kind of wonderland, though it is more like denial-land. I simply pretend that these issues don't exist. If I don't acknowledge them then they will go away.

I am often disappointed to find that many elements of nature/people don't share this sentiment.

To refer to my life thus far as a struggle or difficult would be the worst lie I've ever told. I have been given opportunity possible and it is constantly reinforced how lucky, wonderful and loved I am.

While I am immensely grateful for all of the advantages bestowed on me over time, at times I worry that perhaps it has left me rather spoiled. SOME people might even agree that I have issues with accountability for my actions and behavior. Life has been a breeze and no one has really done anything to make it otherwise. (Thanks!)

This is not to say that I take advantage of any of this. I just am admitting that I've been ensconced by those nearest and dearest to me in a kind of an unconditional love, which, at times has allowed me to behave unfavorably. That perhaps a little self improvement in the accountability, constructive criticism, and hypersensitivity management might not be the worst thing in the world for me.

In other words, I could grow up.

I believe that in the recent months, I have been doing better at this. (I hope you agree) Also, since being in Hanoi, I've had a lot of time to examine myself.

I am not trying to berate myself and say that I think I am terrible. Not at all. I think that I have lots of wonderful qualities, obviously, or none of you fine people would be reading this blog, emailing me and sending me love. I am just becoming more self aware and trying to improve myself and get over some of the ISSUES that I have...and expect that doing so will be for the greater good. I will be happier and probably a better person to be around.

Sorry this post is kind of strange. It was actually supposed to be about my burn but I went off on a completely unrelated, slightly bizarre tangent.

I wish I could write a glowing report that my burn is healing magically and that I am on the road to recovery.

I have no issue running to the doctor for a suspicious something or another because deep down, I know that I don't actually have AIDS or diphtheria but the idea of going to the hospital is freaking me out.

Probably because I have done enough research to realize that my burn is a DEEP 2nd degree burn and it doesn't take a genius to see that my self medication isn't improving. I know, I know...I am crazy. I should get it checked out.

Before Lucie and Tom get frantic emails about this blog post, rest assured that I have made the MATURE and educated decision to hit up the Emergency room at my lunch break tomorrow.

Monday, March 1, 2010

I've Got the World on a String

I mentioned in my last blog that I was starting to explore greater things or in more plain terms GET A LIFE. Hanoi has a lot more to offer than Bia Hoi corner and My Dinh. I am, by nature, drawn to anything involving the arts and somehow, very luckily stumbled upon the arts scene in Hanoi last week, and made enough contacts there that I think I can stay in.

Unlike in NYC or many other places, in Hanoi when you meet someone and exchange information, you actually plan on getting in touch with them. I find that any reticence I would perhaps have in NYC about calling someone I just met to make plans has flown out the window. My networking skills have improved considerably and my horizons are expanding.

I spent the evening in town with my new friend Jenny. We started at the Fine Arts Museum at a gallery opening and then moved on to the Hanoi Cinemathique. I LOVE the movies, as many of you know, but even if I weren't an avid movie goer, this place would make me one. Situated in downtown Hanoi, one can almost miss the entrance as you must drive down a bit of a corridor. Like a Moroccan riad, it seems like nothing on the outside, but once you enter the property it is like stepping into a different, but amazing world. Soft lights illuminate the gazebo courtyard containing adorable tables and a mouth watering aroma coming from the food being prepared in the kitchen. The courtyard is surrounded on all sides (like a riad) by old, colonial French type structures and a bar which gives you free popcorn if you order a beverage. My beverage (a cappuccino-served with a gingersnap biscuit!)I was allowed to take into the intimate but not claustrophobic theater was savory and delicious and even more so that I was allowed to sip it while enjoying Inglorious Basterds.

I fell in love with the place immediately and plan on going back often. So much so that I invested in a year long membership, which set me back 200,000 dong (or $12)

A small price to pay for paradise.

I am overjoyed that my life here is finally starting to reflect my personality, I can't wait to see what I discover next!

On a side note

Little tidbits:
1. People bringing their babies and small children on a motorbike without a helmet. And this is legal. the helmet rule only applies to adults.
2. Today I had to brake for a couple of chickens crossing. In my head I said, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" and laughed a bit to myself
3. The pharmacies here are insane. You can get the craziest stuff over the counter, like valium, codeine ETC.
4. Sometimes when i am teaching I can't believe that I reviewing the same material. Literally i will review the same two pages for TWO WEEKS. I never want to say "How's the weather?" or "where are you going?" again
5. My hypochondria. As many of you know, when I get a cold, sore throat or any common ailment I am convinced that I am dying, that I have somehow contracted a life threatening disease and I am on webmd obsessing over the symptoms. But when something is actually wrong with me like I have a second (or third) degree burn or I have a tooth infection that requires a root canal I refuse to acknowledge that anything is wrong with me and tell everyone to stop worrying that i am fine and they are being dramatic