Monday, December 21, 2009

Anticipation and Nerves

I concoct many crazy life plans, and they often change weekly. So naturally, when I first mentioned "Vietnam" to my friends, they kind of rolled their eyes and smirked at each other. I knew what they were thinking. And part of their inability to take me seriously is what drive me to cement my Vietnam plans into place. I knew the more I spoke about it, and the more I planned it, that I would have to go through with it. And as it draws near, I must say I am THRILLED that I am heading over there.

Thrilled and nervous. I can't believe it's all happening so quickly. And I live in this irrational fear that when I leave NYC that all of my friends will move on, become even closer and that when I return there will be no room left for me. I worry that my perfect boyfriend will realize that his life without me is in fact, much better, and he wants to find someone who is less of a handful.

I expressed these fears to my psychologist-turned-real estate developer mother who provided some insight that, for once, wasn't infuriating. She told me that being sad to leave somewhere/thing, means that you have done it successfully. That if I had lived a boring and miserable life in NYC, then I wouldn't be sad to leave, and that would be the saddest thing of all. So she made sense, and I feel better I guess.

I just have so much to do and prepare before I leave, and I simply can't get going on it. For one, I need to complete my teaching English as a foreign lanaguage class pronto. I am laying stagnant at lesson 3, and I need to get up to 20. Motivate me, please!!!!!

I'm out for now.



  1. I think you're blog is sexy. I'm very excited for you--you are going to have much more life changing experiences than us here in NYC, and YOU will be the one that feels differently when you return. Besides, it would take at least 7 or 8 months for us to totally forget you and move on.....:)
    Soak it up. and if you're having a weak moment, remember that it is 30 in NYC, and 80 in Vietnam.

  2. I'm curious if you found it hard to let you family know that you were planing on moving to Hanoi. I'm leaving for Hanoi May 3 and have barely let my best friends know. Strangely, it have been easier to let my more remote friends know my plans than to let my closest friends and family know. I keep putting off letting my family know. I get little more nervous everyday.