Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Isn't She Lovely

When it comes to a problem, I do live in my own kind of wonderland, though it is more like denial-land. I simply pretend that these issues don't exist. If I don't acknowledge them then they will go away.

I am often disappointed to find that many elements of nature/people don't share this sentiment.

To refer to my life thus far as a struggle or difficult would be the worst lie I've ever told. I have been given opportunity possible and it is constantly reinforced how lucky, wonderful and loved I am.

While I am immensely grateful for all of the advantages bestowed on me over time, at times I worry that perhaps it has left me rather spoiled. SOME people might even agree that I have issues with accountability for my actions and behavior. Life has been a breeze and no one has really done anything to make it otherwise. (Thanks!)

This is not to say that I take advantage of any of this. I just am admitting that I've been ensconced by those nearest and dearest to me in a kind of an unconditional love, which, at times has allowed me to behave unfavorably. That perhaps a little self improvement in the accountability, constructive criticism, and hypersensitivity management might not be the worst thing in the world for me.

In other words, I could grow up.

I believe that in the recent months, I have been doing better at this. (I hope you agree) Also, since being in Hanoi, I've had a lot of time to examine myself.

I am not trying to berate myself and say that I think I am terrible. Not at all. I think that I have lots of wonderful qualities, obviously, or none of you fine people would be reading this blog, emailing me and sending me love. I am just becoming more self aware and trying to improve myself and get over some of the ISSUES that I have...and expect that doing so will be for the greater good. I will be happier and probably a better person to be around.

Sorry this post is kind of strange. It was actually supposed to be about my burn but I went off on a completely unrelated, slightly bizarre tangent.

I wish I could write a glowing report that my burn is healing magically and that I am on the road to recovery.

I have no issue running to the doctor for a suspicious something or another because deep down, I know that I don't actually have AIDS or diphtheria but the idea of going to the hospital is freaking me out.

Probably because I have done enough research to realize that my burn is a DEEP 2nd degree burn and it doesn't take a genius to see that my self medication isn't improving. I know, I know...I am crazy. I should get it checked out.

Before Lucie and Tom get frantic emails about this blog post, rest assured that I have made the MATURE and educated decision to hit up the Emergency room at my lunch break tomorrow.

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