Just when I thought I was getting good at goodbyes and moving on, I regressed. Standing in Alex's apartment surrounded by my luggage, already running four minutes late, I broke into sobs declaring that I didn't want to go back to Asia, that I belonged in New York.
I can attribute this little breakdown to a combination of severe sleep deprivation coupled with the realization that I'd once again be leaving the comfort zone which I had allowed myself to slip so easily back into, the one that allows me to be near my family and with all of my best friends, living out our lives together rather than digitally explaining what's been going on.
This is a far cry from my last post, I know. And while I can sincerely say that I meant everything I wrote last time, that it was a bit naive of me to think that spending six glorious weeks in my former life would have no emotional repercussions. I know I am happy in Hanoi, that I have things there I have/want to get done, but it was much harder saying goodbye to NYC and the US then i thought it would be.
I also blame my slight regression on my friends and family who are simply wonderful. Every moment spent with them was a reminder of why I am a truly lucky and blessed person. With them I am able to completely be myself and there is never a dull moment. Things aren't perfect-I was kicked out of an apartment, verbally abused via bbm, and had moments of drunken ridiculousness but those moments were all countered by every thing else. I wish I could write down all of the crazy antics that occurred while I was in the US-I covered San Fran, Florida was just FAMILY, BEACH, BOOKS, MOVIES, and Wender.
Every night out in New York with my friends results in the kind of story that we tell for years to come. It's never dull, always crazy (for better or for worse)it's hectic, exhilarating, and exactly how i remember it. I think that's the best part-that despite being gone for seven months, that I was just able to slip back into the routine like i never left. That to me, is the sign of solid friendships. I'm looking forward to my next return.
Meanwhile it's 4:30 am in my hotel room in Tokyo. I arrived at 2pm, finally got through customs and my bag around 3 and was going to check into my hotel and explore Tokyo. i am embarrassed to say that the past few extremely late nights coupled with a 12 hour flight caught up with me and I didn't leave my room. The lure of a hot bath (which was amazing aside from the tub being a little small for my 5'10 frame)and a soft fluffy bed won over the bright lights and bustle of Japan's capital.
Next time. In the meantime, I should try and go back to sleep...I'm going home tomorrow :)