Thursday, July 28, 2011

Love Remains the Same

I find myself talking about my parents a lot on this blog, which I hope they don't mind, They most likely don't, because they don't read this blog. Something about "respecting my privacy and life." They've never snooped into my life or spied, they've always figured if I wanted them to know something, I'd tell them.

Today is their 34th wedding anniversary. 34 years. In this day and age that is almost unheard of, yet they've managed to do it, and managed to do it well. Aside from being wonderful parents to both me and my brother (obviously, look how well we've turned out!) they have been wonderful human beings to each other and have taught me life lessons without even realizing that they've done it.

I am, as we all know, an idealist and hopeless romantic when it comes to love. I believe that we CAN have it all; I've walked away from seemingly perfect men and relationships not because they weren't great, but because they were lacking something. Something I couldn't quite place but enough to feel like a piece was missing. I once spent a significant amount of time trying to tell myself I was being crazy, that "we can't have it all" that "you have to sacrifice somewhere" that I should be "happy with what I have"...and it probably would've worked too, if it hadn't been for my parents.

My parents are still very much in love. My dad comments about how beautiful my mother is and they're openly affectionate, which results in me feeling a combination of grossed out and swooning over the cuteness of it. They have never sat me down and talked to me about guys, and what I should want or look for, or who to date or not date. Instead they did something much more powerful, they showed by example.

They are both strong willed, highly intelligent and passionate people who feel strongly about many things. Some of the time, their opinions clash, but I have never seen a disagreement where they've shown any kind of disrespect towards the other. They understand each other, and there is a high level of mutual respect and admiration. When it comes to all of the big decisions, they always had a united front, even in the smaller things they always supported each other. They supported each other against everything and everyone. They are a team...and you can't join.

Another thing I really respect is the fact that as much as they love being together, they are comfortable and confident when apart. Both my parents travel a lot, sometimes together, sometimes not. There have been times where they've been separated for a month, and of course they miss each other, but their worlds didn't come crashing down around them. They survived, probably even thrived. It gave me the realization that you can find the person you're supposed to be with but at the same time, you can keep your sense of self, your identity and independence.

They were pretty young when they got married, and faced opposition on both sides (for being so young and also for being from different continents, and a year of long distance) yet when I asked them about it, they said they had no doubts. In fact, they both said it was one of the most obvious and easy decisions they made. they just KNEW. I guess they were right. Maybe it's worked out so well because underneath any differences of opinion, they fundamentally have the same approach to life and the same values. They know who they are and what they want, and most importantly, they value it.

They have been a marvelous example for me, and seeing them has kept the faith alive for me that it's possible to have it all, to find someone who it just makes sense with, that you just KNOW, that there are no doubts. I have often said, and will continue to say, I will not be able to settle for anything less than what they have. How could I?

In case you're reading this, happy anniversary.

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